It’s been 3 weeks since my Race officially ended. I went from the title “racer” to “alumni”, and that’s the weirdest adjustment yet. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I am not the same person I was in August of 2020. That itself is just beautiful and deserves all the praise I can give to the Lord. When I first got to Georgia during month 1 of the race they told us that we would grow and become someone unrecognizable to us and our families, I didn’t believe them though. I figured I was already “good enough”, and thought yeah I’m not perfect but I know the Lord loves me, BUT that’s not the growth they were talking about. The goal wasn’t about changing the perspective of others around me or how the Lord sees me (because he sees me as perfect and calls me his daughter), but about changing how I see myself. It’s just a bonus that people around me get to see the Lord move inside of me to change the outward appearance of my actions and bring me true joy.
I saw myself as someone who walked in fear. Someone who always held back from being their true self because of fear that I would be judged. I would always act myself around people I was close to, but rarely around unfamiliar faces. I let myself hide behind this mask and was selective of who I would let get to know me. Living with 30 people you just get over that fear pretty quick because you live with them and they’re gonna eventually see every side of you at some point. During Month 1 the Lord taught me quite a bit about the word “courage”. Courage: “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”. He gave me several visions of how I’m strong enough to fight off anything/a certain situation because of the courage and strength he puts in me. He was walking me through a season of looking at myself through his lens. He gave me this confidence and joy to just truly be myself and not fear what others think of me. I walked in with these chains weighing me down and he soon broke those so my race could look a whole lot different than I had planned. It was the biggest lesson he taught me over the 9 months, and it allowed me to make MANY deep connections throughout ministry in both Costa Rica and the Dominican Republic.
The World Race changed my life in the best way possible. I see myself through his eyes. While we were in Georgia my team leader Cassi (she’s a real one) had our team write a list of how we see ourselves, and then a list of how Jesus sees us. This was hard because we had to be real and raw, no sugarcoating anything. Then we had to look at ourselves in the mirror and read the list of how we see ourselves, that was hard. It was heartbreaking that I could call myself ugly things, and feel unworthy of being loved. I didn’t see myself capable of being called his daughter and felt like my brokenness was in the way. Little did I know that he would completely wreck me over the next 9 months and walk me through the healing of my past and it would lead to restoration in my heart. Instead of dwelling on past events that led me to believe those lies in the first place, I am thankful for the hardships because it led me to be where I am today. If I didn’t walk through those difficult seasons I wouldn’t have grown into the woman of joy and have the confidence I have today. Just 292 days ago I was content with being stuck and now I’m just on fire and passionate for the Lord. I believe that the Race is just the foundation and start of this crazy journey that the Lord has in store for me. The World Race has changed my life and brought me 30 of my best friends.
Thank you all for following me on this journey and being patient with me and my not-so-good blogging skills haha. Your donations have allowed me to have a life-changing experience. Thank you for playing a huge part in my life. I am so so so thankful. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me during CGA, stay tuned for more fundraising posts as I get to raise $6,000 for this next journey of my life.
God bless you all!!!
